I Was Carried To Ohio In A Swarm Of Bees.

Reasons To Be Happy #5

1. Black and white pictures

2. Pink hi-lighters

3. Tights

4. Inexpensive shoes

5. Europe

6. Reliable friends

7. Kitten whiskers

8. Circle scarves

9. Apple Cider

10. Freshly vacuumed carpet

Last night I stayed at Andra's lovely house! However I had a rather traumatic morning when I woke and found that when I spoke it sounded as if I had stuffed my throat with marshmallows! I looked in the mirror to find that my uvula (AKA the dangling punching bag thing in the back of your throat) was 4 times it's normal size and that my throat was quite irritated. I of course was having an absolute cow (we were scheduled for an Act 11 run today) and began researching like mad what the hell was happening to my body. I soon discovered that by being in the direct line of smoke-breaks last night at the Capital Theatre I had upset both the tissue on my uvula and the inside of my nose. I was swollen and burning...but at least now I know that I will never touch a cigarette, no matter how casually European they look. I set out to remedy my problem by enjoying a nutritional breakfast of vanilla ice cream, hoping that it would help the swelling go down and by driving to the walk-in clinic since my ENT was in surgery and I've yet to find a new doctor. That was such a run-on sentence. Anyways, first I had a kind of buff nurse. He was probably a football player in high school (which I doubt was long ago). He tried to talk to me about theatre and it was awkward because although I appreciated the effort, he had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. He kept telling me that the owner of the office had a daughter and that she was in Wicked on Broadway as Dorothy...which I didn't have the heart to tell him, is not a role in that show. Then he left and I got really bored and uncomfortable because I always feel like I shouldn't lie down on the weird bed/chair because you know they'll know that you did when the paper is crinkled. And why is it that the doctor always has to walk into the room while your'e playing with the doctor toys? Today I had two tongue depressors and that odd ear instrument that LIGHTS UP. Well needless to say the doctor was not as amused as I (probably because he get's to play with them all of the time) and simply said "What are you doing?" to which I replied "What are you doing?"

...

I then slowly put the toys down and the doctor told me I had lost weight and that I didn't have strep. He then said "Take some Advil."

Thanks. Glad I waited for two hours for you to tell me to take Advil...

After that waste of time I went and bought some super cute undies from Charlotte Russe. I also saw 4 shirtless men on the way to rehearsal. Who do they think they are Matthew Mcconaughey? I also hear that Snooki (popular Jersey Shore reality star/ hotmess, and not like Ke$ha or Lilo) is writing...a book. A. She can read/write?! B. The book title is "A Shore Thing." Oh how incredibly punny of you trashy orange-blob with eyeliner. and C. WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO! Victor Nabokov is rolling in his grave right now.

It's most definitely tea-time.

On another note why am I always buying these "100 calorie pack snacks" thinking "Oh I will eat one and be healthy." Then I eat 5 and I still just want a cookie...

Rehearsal went well, but I'm terrified for the run-through tomorrow. I hope I remember everything. Curse you Sondheim. I wasn't built for your brilliance.

Now the usual: My dreamsies- "You are reliable and dependable. You are experiencing a reawakening and have a fresh outlook on life. You are a blank-slate."

:)

Definition: Cabelas- A scary place full of camo, hicks, and dead animal heads. To be avoided at all costs.

Piece of mind: It's easy to be a bitch. Finding the alternative is what's challenging. As I pop these advil into my mouth and devour this delicious avocado (dinner only get's later every night) I'm thinking this.

My quote tonight.

"There is no way for them to take away my sadness, but they can make sure I am not empty of all the other feelings"

I hope I wake up feeling brand new.

This is funny: Click on it. http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2009/12/the-evolution-of-the-hipster-2000-2009.html

A Kind of Crucifix Around This Munchkin Land

Reasons To Be Happy #4

1. Peppermint Tea

2. Local Musicians

3. Meaningful Tattoos

4. Glitter

5. Agile Squirrels

6. Letting go

7. Love

Right now I'm blogging from Andra's FREEZING house! The thermostat is broken and I feel like I'm an eskimo wrapped in all these fuzzy blankets. Whoever invented micro-fiber was a wizard I'm sure...How do they make them so soft?! I smell like stale cigarettes and pot because I just got done working the door at the Capital Theatre. The Melvins played and I actually really enjoyed it! I can understand how bouncers can become such douche bags though, I mean having the ability to tell people whether or not they can enter the building, asking them if they are "on the list" or having people flash you their stamp before they reenter, it really could give you a false sense of entitlement:) I personally felt like Gandalf at the door. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" I tried to say that anytime someone tried to sneak in. I ran into some people I hadn't seen in a long time and although it was hard to catch up while constantly repeating "Inside wrist. Thank you." it was still lovely to see them all! There are so many fantastical tattoos in little old Olympia! and especially on inside wrists... I saw many many infinity signs:) I also stamped the lovely Kimya Dawson. I recognized her tattooed wrist before I looked up to really see her. We've had so many run-ins in this tiny town, one day I will work up the nerve to tell her how much I love her music. It's funny how many men have to flex their arms in order for you to stamp them...

But before any of that ever happened today, I woke up to a sad little puppy crying at the door so I let him in, snuggled, searched for jobs, had a very nice conversation with an old friend, did some yoga, and went off to starbucks, where they made my drink and handed it to me as I approached the counter. I'm so broke right now and I just felt absolutely terrible walking past this poor man who asked for money for a cup of coffee and I had none on me! One day when I'm rich and famous I will buy all of the hobos frothy lattes. I won't forget you sad man:(

After that depressing encounter I ventured to Kalea's where I watched an old Disney film (you know back when they were allowed to be sad and creepy?) called "Return To Oz." There was an insane asylum, a talking chicken, and a princess who stole heads. It was absolutely terrifying and I have no idea how it ends because I had to leave to grab some yummy Darby's with Catherine and Kalea. While I was there I named a squirrel "Meatloaf" and pondered the new Swedish puppet film called "We R Animals" here is the synopsis:

"Snow White the rabbit is stuck in a sadistic man's pet store, she craves for love but nobody wants to take her home. But one day the animals wreck havoc and they all escape, including Snow White. She gets lost with her newfound freedom and almost dies, until the nice old lady Alice saves her. Snow White would've had a bright future if not for Alice's jealous and vindictive dogs, who call on their friend Flash, a shady and devious pimp cat. Together they plan to transform Alice's apartment into a brothel for animals, and force Snow White and even the human Alice into prostitution.

We R Animals is a comic adventure, filled with drug using cats, horny dogs, cat-ninja assassins, vampire bats, cruelty and magic. In essence We R Animals is a love story told with warmth, where sometimes the laughter sits in the throat and forces us to question the morals and views of both animals and man."

What. The. Fuck...

Now onto the usual portion of my blog:

Last night's dream meaning: "Your lifestyle and beliefs may be in conflict with another's. Injured pride, or a jolted experience."

Accurate.

Definition: Quarters- The only efficient way to pay for coffee.

Story of my life.

And finally a little piece of mind: Owning up to your mistakes is hard. Placing the blame on someone else is the easiest way to never grow. Admit when you're wrong. Don't hold grudges. Make amends. Let go. But continue to love. It's the only way to heal.

Here's my quote for the night, from one of my favorite selections of poetry:

"Here’s what I know about the realm of possibility— it is always expanding, it is never what you think it is. Everything around us was once deemed impossible. From the airplane overhead to the phones in our pockets to the choir girl putting her arm around the metalhead. As hard as it is for us to see sometimes, we all exist within the realm of possibility. Most of the limits are of our own world’s devising. And yet, every day we each do so many things that were once impossible to us. "
— David Levithan

Today was a good day.

When Did Cinderella Turn Into Such A Fucking Hipster?

Reasons To Be Happy #3

1. Pesto

2. Having a "usual"

3. Hobos with interesting signs

4. Puppies

5. Child's pose

6. Pinecones

7. Harry Potter

8. Straight teeth

9. High-waisted shorts

10. Epiphanies

It's 4 in the morning so this entry is probably even shittier than my last two. Why am I awake?and why am I blogging? Why am I not listening to DeVotchKa and pondering the meaning of life?

Today was a good day and my dream last night was very interesting. Dream interpretation: "indicates renewal, meditation, and spirituality. You may be undergoing a readjustment period after experiencing some serious personal conflict or an end to a passionate affair. Steady progress is being made." Thank you subconscious for the heads up:) I also took the time to look up some of what my doodling means today to find that I have confidence, but fear making errors, I love to design and express ideas, I have musicality, rhythm, and long hair. Who knew the wavy lines covering all of my past math assignments could reveal so much about me.

Yoga is so lovely. I spent about an hour and a half stretching and meditating-although I must admit it wasn't easy with a puppy constantly bringing me toys to throw. At one point he even decided that (while I was in downward dog) he was going to crawl on my back and maybe take a power nap there. I had egg whites with pesto for breakfast. Pesto makes life more bearable. Whenever I look down at my food and think "This needs pizzaz." I always add pesto. Pesto butter, pesto mayo, pesto instead of mayo, pesto cream cheese...anything really. It never fails to delight my taste buds. And speaking of taste bud heaven...coffee. If anyone were capable of loving me half as much as I love coffee it would be incredible. The baristas at 3 starbucks and 2 coffee stands know me by name, and at 2 of them they start my drink the minute I walk in the door. It is because of you, John, the downtown dreads coffee man, and you, nice boy with gages who gives me extra espresso, and you, ethnic boy who always says hello to me when I see you outside of the cafe, that I have faith in humanity. I am obsessed with all of you, but mostly the fantastic lattes you make.

On a different note.

Today a hobo said to me. "Hey I'm a bum. Want to take me home and make me the happiest man alive?"

I said "no." and walked away rather quickly.

Rehearsal makes me want to punch a baby. I feel like every time I make an acting choice it's wrong. Maybe I should learn my lines/ how to count at all. Everyone says that I've been doing well though so maybe that's just an indication that I act like a frazzled, clumsy, mistreated, princess in real life? Not entirely sure. Sondheim rules my brain.

Also eddie and I decided that we are going to write a kick-ass self help book. I'll just add that to my list of things to do, along with going to the pumpkin patch, and outlawing mannequins with faces and pointy boobs. Since when has that ever been okay? no matter. I've also decided that for every blog entry I will add a definition that pertains to my life. AKA the Dictionary of Bailey.

DEFINITION 1: Ukelele- Instrument essential to any song labeled as "awesome."

Fabulous.

And of course I'll end with a quote-that I find especially potent today.

"Well I have blamed them, I have fought them, but I never understood. All they really did was do the best they could."-Stephen Schwartz

Every time I read that quote I forgive a little more and I love a little more too. No one is alone. Truly.

You're Not Good. You're Not Bad. You're Just Nice.

Reasons To Be Happy #2

1. Internet Dream Interpretations

2. The Dirty Projectors

3. Sunny Delight

4. Bows

5. Grandparents

6. Leggings

7. Sondheim

8. Zucchini bread with strawberry creamcheese

9. Tom's shoes

Right now I'm typing at the kitchen counter instead of my bedroom because my roommate is hyper-senstive to the smell of fish and I decided that I was going to cook salmon (what with ITW rehearsal dinner progressively gets later every night.) Needless to say, she smelled it from upstairs before it even left the microwave, and now as long as I'm eating I have to stay down here. She's going to be so happy once she discovers that my favorite food is Sushi... Today, today, today. What did I even do today? Well for starters. Today I was an absolute hypocrite. Today I wore leggings as pants, which I have always have frowned upon-but you know what? I hadn't done laundry in a really long time and I wanted to be comfy. So of course I asked myself the question that usually helps me make decisions in times of absolute emergency, I thought "What would GaGa do?" And it dawned on me. She would do whatever the fuck she wanted. So I wore leggings as pants and I totes owned it. But even so if you are overweight or you have a disposition to prostitution (I compare all sluts to prostitutes, although I have more respect for prostitutes. If that's how you're going to carry yourself you might as well get paid.) and I see you wearing nothing but leggings and a tiny abercrombie tank..maybe some boots with the fur? I will still judge you. I might even kick you. Please learn the proper use of pants, everyone will appreciate it. Okay, but back to being thankful and free of bitterness:) Today was actually quite spectacular! I woke up to St. Vincent and went right to my morning Yoga. I've been trying to mix it up a bit and try some different yoga workouts on On Demand lately. Today the yoga instructor was a little awkward as she just about orgasmed over her ab workout-but it was some quality work on my core so I'm not complaining.

On an entirely different note, something kind of interesting about me is that I never really used to dream until about 2 months ago. Then suddenly all of these strange dreams of hives, and people from the past driving me around in cars, rotting teeth, frantic tap-dancing...it was completely out of control, so I started researching the symbolism in all that I remembered from the night before every morning. The symbolism was rather potent today "You are doubting your accomplishments and the goals you have already completed. You feel that you may not be measuring up to the expectations of others."

Oh how true.

They say that dreams are glances into the subconscious mind and that often by listening to them we can find systematized solutions to actual conflicts we may be facing in our everyday lives. It's so intriguing to think that even while I'm sleeping my mind is constantly working and that in times when I remember the dream, I can decode it and discover something new about myself.

It's riveting.

In other news rehearsal went very well today:) I'm think that I'm doing alright for a Sondheim virgin and I'm completely ecstatic about playing another princess, but holy hell is this show a mouthful.

Say this as fast as you can and you're doing under tempo. "Though it's fearful, though it's deep, though it's dark, and though you may the path, though you may encounter wolves, you mustn't stop, you mustn't swerve, you mustn't ponder. You have to act. When you want your wish, you can get your wish, but you can't just wish, no to get your wish you go into the woods..."

Sometimes during rehearsal I actually question whether or not I was clubbed over the head earlier that day...as if that would explain my inability to count the weird-ass time signature.

No matter.

I love the movie 500 Days of Summer. It's just real. Below is a quotation from the film.

"Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life."

Love.

PS: That picture is of me wearing leggings as pants.

The Reasons To Be Happy

I've decided to put a new twist on this blog. Even though, quite honestly I had forgotten that I had one until a couple hours ago. First of all I'm using it again. And second of all as entertaining as all of my ranting may be- I'm not sure that every post will be that way, and I know that they definitely won't begin that way. I've always found blogging to be a little self-indulgent, I mean, you log onto the internet to tell the world about your life-as if the world cares about your trip to the laundromat, or how attractive you think Joseph Gordon-Levitt is (so beautiful). I purchased a book a while ago entitled "Stuff White People Like" and number 149 just about sums it up for me. It reads "Self Importance...Every white person is worthy of a memoir...Due to an undying need to share their life story with everyone who will listen, white people have taken to blogging in massive numbers, though it is no surprise that many have simply turned their journals/diaries into blogs where they talk about the latest episode of American Idol, Darfur, or their experience in a coffee shop." A. Yes. These are the kinds of books that I read. B. I am exactly like this book. This blog is for me, and anyone of my friends who feels the need to read it. It's completely self-indulgent. and C. I will probably talk about TV shows, different countries, and duh, coffee shops, because like so many Washingtonians, I'm obsessed with frivolously frothy lattes. But I digress, this blog will always start with a list, of my reasons to be happy. To be thankful. It wasn't until recently that I learned how important letting go of the ugly and embracing beauty is...and I definitely haven't finished learning, in fact I have a long way to go. Of course, knowing myself, I'm sure that sometimes after I type my reasons to be happy I will probably type underneath a crazy rant of frustration...but at least those are entertaining right? No matter how bitter. Old habits die hard:) But this is a step in the right direction. So here we go:

My first reasons to be happy:

1. Nutella

2. Orange cats

3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

4. Forgiveness

5. Singing in deaf-voice. (Yes. This is offensive.)

6. IKEA

7. A beautiful Cinderella costume

Seven already:) What a wonderful list! And what would a blogpost be without ending with a quotation of some sort?

"You can't be ugly-be pretty."-Clementine Kruczynski

I'll be back tomorrow.