Reasons To Be Happy #20
1. Saving animals
2. Vanilla tea
3. Not breaking character
4. Andra's grandpa
Yesterday I didn't blog because I was vomiting and it was too much to also type at the computer while throw-up was coming out of my mouth. Yesterday in a nutshell- Visited Liz, went to the show. I can't think straight right now. Today went well, until the end.
Today I woke up and headed out to get coffee, I drove really far away from the window as always, and embarrassed myself as I tried desperately to act as if I had purposefully parked far away...Didn't really work out the way I planned. But in the end I got my coffee and a muffin. I went to the show and it was good to see everyone. I was super slow at getting ready today though. I was defs doing my hair up until places were called. As far as the show goes, it was memorable for me because while I was talking to the tangled birds, one of them fell-giving off the impression that it died. The audience was laughing so hard-and it took everything in me not to crack. I even picked up the silly thing off of the ground and pretended to talk to it after exclaiming "Oh no!" Oh my god. How did I not pee myself?! Anyways I showed up at Andra's and surprised her after the matinee and then we went to dinner with her family. I am obsessed with her grandpa. He's from Texas and he is hysterical. He was talking about his favorite pot to smoke and he ordered sooo much alcohol when we went out. He isn't racist in the least, but he uses terms that I would never, and I have to admit when he says them it's really funny. Nothing as harsh as the N word...but some things, I was thinking, "I'm not so sure that's PC." Anyway we headed to The Spar and I ran into Dandan there! Andra and I split the french dip as we listened to her little sister rave about how emo she was...for real. She said she wanted to name something "torture", that she listened to this new rock band about chains and valentines, and that she really liked the smell of pot....why is middle school always such a crazy cry for help?! Then we all gaped at her when she asked for a sip of wine-of course I then burst out laughing. She is the definition of cray-cray, but I love her. She also told me this story about how she joined the football team and told one of the boys to "watch the boobs" after she was tackled. Quality.
Then as I was walking out of the restaurant, a group of people sitting in the cold asked me if I was missing a dog. They then showed me this poor fluffy pup tied with a belt to a bike bar. I said no and asked about tags-blah blah protocol. And they said they couldn't take her, so I said "It isn't a problem. I'll go get my car and I'll take her home."
So I did.
I named her Nana, after the beloved dog from Peter Pan, she's sleeping right now, cozy in the house. My parents were hardly pleased when I brought her inside but it's too cold for her to be wandering the streets of downtown Olympia at night. Tomorrow I'm going to take her to see if she has a chip. I don't want her family to worry.
Now, originally this post probably would have been long, fluffy, and happy what with seeing Liz on saturday, the birds falling but managing to stay in character, and saving a poor pup-but it isn't, because after I took the dog out for a little midnight stroll I came inside to see Andra staring at the computer screen, speechless. I asked her what was wrong. She just stared at me, So i asked again and she said nothing. I went and looked at the screen-only to find that my ex had not wasted any time in getting back with his ex girlfriend.
I won't lie on here, because there's no need-no one reads it except Haleigh and myself, maybe Daph now-but anyhow, I was devastated. I truly thought that there was no way for him to break my heart anymore than he had already-but he could, and he did. What a terrible terrible feeling. I can't write anymore about this right now because honestly I just don't know what to say. This is what I get for not appreciating him while we were together, but it still hurt my feelings, a lot. It's so soon, and with the one girl he swore up and down was trash. I called Danny and could barely get out what I was trying to say and then Samara just called me and we both sat at the phone crying for about an hour. I feel stupid for not realizing why everyone was asking if I was okay today. I can't remember the last time I've seen Andra pissed like that. Usually she's so neutral. I really want to be excited that she's on my side of something-but honestly I just can't be. My heart is lead and my stomach's stone.
Growing up is really hard sometimes. But despite all of this sadness I still have many reasons to be happy and thankful. Starting with the fluffy puppy sleeping next to me. And besides, I genuinely want him to be happy, even if that's not what he wants for me anymore.
Sometimes people leave you halfway through the wood. Others may deceive you. You decide what's good. You decide alone.
Those lyrics will not be easy to sing again.
"A new world, shattering the silence. There's a new world I'm afraid to see. A new world, louder every moment. Come to me."
I'm going to try and sleep:)
Love.
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